Warning, yet another instance of graphic vore, digestion, and their nasty implications ahead:

My favorite kind of dates are the ones when you’ve already scheduled a visit from plumber for the very next day before you’ve even met me face to face. What can I say, I like a partner who’s confident, and who knows what they want!

In fact, the only disappointing aspect of hooking up with someone so single-mindedly predatory and ruthless is the fact that a body as smooth and limber and perfect as mine winds up resigned to such a lowly and humiliating fate… I wonder if you’ll feel guilty at all, reducing these elegant features and succulent curves down into a broken, sizzling pile of hot, mushy meat simmering away in your ravenous stomach? I doubt it. Hunger comes before the appreciation of beauty after all!

Regardless, I don’t think you’ll even remember or care about the disgusting end of my graceful beauty when you’re stuck on the toilet for a few hours straight the next day. I’m willing to bet the only thing on your mind will be how to hide the bones from the plumber~